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She drew her feet up towards her backside. Today she wore no panties. The lower part of her backside and the vertical slash of her hairless gash were on view. Again I looked away and concentrated my attention on her face as she talked. But I drew the obvious conclusion about what she might be up to. We concluded our chitchat with me accepting her offer to help me finish unpacking after school the following day, for a small fee, providing she obtained her mother’s approval. Again she accepted money for tomorrow’s drinks. Next day was a big working day and removalists were gone by early afternoon. All the furniture was in place, beds assembled, washing machine and refrigerator connected, clothing hung but needing ironing. All I had to do was unpack many cartons; crockery, cutlery, linen, books and so forth. Natalie arrived with a welcome drink. I took a break and we sat in the lounge. Today at least she wore panties, white again! But as before she left little to the. ”“I’ve met a few,” I nodded.“Now the character arc is a bit uneven. First of all, while I have a pretty good idea of what is going on in Pilot’s head and what kind of person he is, I still have no idea what he looks like. That could be fine because the reader can put himself into the picture as the first person narration encourages—unless the reader is female. She might have more difficulty envisioning herself as this man and want a few clues about what he’s like physically. Otherwise, it is ‘plug in random movie star here.’ This is especially true because you spend a great deal of time describing other characters. Oddly, though, we don’t get as much depth of character development with anyone except Pilot/Poet and Logistics/Research. The result is that other characters are rather cartoonish or feel like cardboard cutouts that the main characters just have to walk around. They have no personality. The depth you put into the main characters, however, shows that you can get inside the.
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